The Mothership: Reclaiming Yourself Through Motherhood

One of the biggest misconceptions surrounding motherhood is that postpartum recovery is complete after a matter of weeks. In reality, recovery extends far beyond the traditional six-week check-up. As women’s health researcher and medical doctor, Dr Jo Mennie explains, many women experience what is known as ‘postnatal depletion’ – a very real physiological state that can persist long after pregnancy. But why?

Throughout pregnancy, a mother’s nutrients are prioritised to support her baby’s growth and development. After birth, her body must replenish those stores alongside healing from childbirth, adapting to breastfeeding (if that is one’s chosen route), coping with broken sleep and meeting the constant physical and emotional demands of caring for a newborn. Yet, as Mennie points out, our focus often shifts almost entirely to the baby: “we’ve created a culture which celebrates the birth of the child and then kind of neglects the recovery of the mother along the way”.

And it’s important to note that the effects of postnatal depletion can last much longer than many women expect: “postnatal depletion really does hang around for up to three years in women”, Mennie says. Rather than viewing postpartum recovery as something to simply ‘bounce back’ from, she encourages mothers to see it as an ongoing process of rebuilding – physically, mentally and emotionally.

Of course, recovery isn’t only physical. Pregnancy also reshapes one of our most important organs: the brain. Forgetfulness, reduced concentration and mental overload are experiences many new mothers know all too well. But the idea that “baby brain” represents cognitive decline is increasingly being challenged: “baby brain is a real thing”, Mennie confirms, as research suggests that the maternal brain undergoes structural changes during pregnancy, particularly within areas responsible for vigilance and caregiving.

However, perhaps it needs reframing… “baby brain should actually be thought of as a good thing because your grey cortex part of the brain actually redevelops during pregnancy to make you more vigilant to your baby”. Rather than becoming less capable, mothers are adapting to an entirely new cognitive priority. As Mennie puts it: “it shouldn’t be seen as a deficit. It should be seen as an upgrade.”

Those internal changes don’t stop at the brain. They often become visible on the skin, too. Pigmentation, dullness, collagen loss and increased sensitivity are all common concerns after pregnancy, but these changes are deeply connected to what is happening beneath the surface.

When it comes to pregnancy-safe skincare, one recommendation stands above the rest…”SPF”, Mennie proclaims. Elevated progesterone levels stimulate melanocytes, increasing pigmentation and making daily sun protection more important than ever. Equally important, however, is managing expectations around recovery, “if you think it’s sending collagen to your face in the first six months post baby, it’s not happening”.

In the early postpartum months, the body’s priorities lie elsewhere – repairing tissue, regulating hormones and supporting milk production where applicable. Healthy skin recovery relies on time, nourishment and patience, rather than expecting immediate visible change.

Understanding these physiological changes also requires a shift in mindset. For decades, women have been encouraged to ‘bounce back’ after pregnancy, but increasingly, experts believe the language itself needs updating.

We need to reframe the thinking – pregnancy creates lasting changes, not only physically but neurologically and emotionally. Rather than trying to reclaim an old identity, perhaps the focus should be on creating space for a new one.

If mindset forms one pillar of recovery, nutrition is undoubtedly another. While skincare, supplements and wellness treatments all have their place, rebuilding nutritional stores remains the cornerstone of postpartum health. “Nutrition is the foundation of what we do. Everything is additional to that”, Mennie explains. Iron deficiency, low vitamin D, depleted B vitamins and poor gut health can all contribute to fatigue, low mood and brain fog – symptoms that many women mistakenly assume are simply inevitable parts of motherhood. Supporting recovery starts with rebuilding nutritional stores. The emphasis isn’t on perfection, but small daily habits and consistency – whether that be through diet or supplementation (check out Louco – a female first protein powder).

Of course, even the most nourishing diet can only go so far when another essential pillar of health is in short supply: sleep. Few experiences affect new mothers as profoundly as sleep deprivation. As GP and baby sleep consultant, Dr Francesca Brewer, explains: “it’s basically a form of torture, sleep deprivation”.

While many parents expect interrupted sleep during infancy, they are often surprised by how long these challenges can continue beyond the early months in to the early years. Importantly, “support is available”, Brewer affirms.

For younger babies, reassurance and education are often enough. As children grow older, age-appropriate routines and strategies can help improve sleep for the whole family. While disrupted sleep may feel inevitable in early parenthood, the way we approach it has evolved. Rather than referring to “sleep training”, Brewer prefers a gentler phrase – “sleep teaching”. The distinction is important. Sleep isn’t something babies simply do or don’t do – it is a developmental skill that some children need support learning. “Sometimes they need a little bit of help learning that fundamental skill of sleep”, Brewer explains.

Consistency remains one of the most important factors: babies love consistency and they will respond to that, Brewer confirms. Many parents change approaches too quickly, when often what is needed is simply time for a routine to become established.

The importance of sleep extends far beyond simply feeling rested. Increasingly, it is recognised as one of the most influential contributors to maternal mental health. When supporting women experiencing postnatal anxiety or depression, one of the first questions Brewer asks is about sleep – both the mother’s and the baby’s: “if I’m seeing somebody that comes in worried about their mental health after having a baby, one of my main questions is how are you sleeping and how is your baby sleeping?”. Improving sleep can have a significant impact on recovery: “if we can help a woman get support with her baby sleep and therefore her sleep, it can really significantly improve her chances of recovery.”Sleep is not a luxury, it is healthcare.

Recovery, however, isn’t achieved through rest alone. As the body begins to heal, gentle movement becomes another important part of the picture. For pre and postnatal movement specialist Sophie Allen, postpartum exercise has little to do with aesthetics, it is about reconnecting with the body.

“I always encourage mothers who’ve just had their baby, whether it’s C-section or vaginal, to take time to really recover”. Rather than rushing back into exercise, women are encouraged to listen carefully to their bodies: “the main thing that I’ve noticed with a lot of my clients is they will know when they feel ready.”

And, as Allen reminds us, recovery is a process. While the pelvic floor often dominates conversations around postpartum recovery, Allen believes it is only one element of a much bigger system. She recommends beginning gentle pelvic floor awareness soon after birth: “the pelvic floor can always be worked on”, but recovery extends beyond isolated exercises. Breathing mechanics, posture, core control and everyday movement patterns all work together – it really is all these “small incremental adaptations” that Allen explains play the large parts in regaining strength.

The way mothers feed, lift, carry and move throughout the day all contribute to long-term recovery. Many of those changes are shaped not by dedicated exercise sessions, but by the hundreds of small movements repeated every day. Hours spent feeding, carrying and comforting babies naturally encourage rounded shoulders and protective postures. Allen believes awareness is where change begins: “posture starts from your foundation”.

Simple ergonomic adjustments – from feeding positions to breathing mechanics – can significantly improve comfort over time. One statistic is particularly striking, the hours a mother spends breast feeding: “it’s around 52 hours a week” Allen explains. So it makes sense… when so much time is spent in one position, small changes quickly become meaningful.

Taken together, these individual pieces reveal a much bigger picture – that postpartum recovery cannot be addressed through one discipline alone. Nutrition affects energy, sleep affects mental health, movement influences confidence and hormones underpin almost everything.

And as Allen explains, “you are rebuilding your body, you are rebuilding your nervous system”. The most effective postpartum care recognises that every aspect of recovery is connected. With the right support, you don’t just recover – you reclaim yourself through motherhood.

Want to hear more from these experts? Watch our ‘The Mothership’ conversation in full here.